Admit Something.
February 27, 2008, 9:29 pm
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Admit something:

Everyone you see, you say to them, “Love me.”

Of course you do not do this out loud, otherwise
someone would call the cops.

Still, though, think about this, this great pull in us to connect.

Why not become the one who lives with a
full moon in each eye that is
always saying,

with that sweet moon language,
what every other eye in
this world is
dying to


mondays are filled with unique experiences.
February 26, 2008, 3:57 am
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I don’t know if my ear hurts right now from talking on the cell phone so much this evening or from the painful crunching sound of the deer smashing into the car that I haven’t really processed yet.

Mondays are just not my days I guess. Each of my past three Mondays have been marked with dangerous experiences. February 11th I drove alone to Southern West Virginia for a lecture at a University. On my way home my car spun out of control. First it started swerving to the left then to the right then to the left then it just hit ice again and
started spinning out of control. I closed my eyes and remembered my dear Lord Govinda. The car got spun 270 degrees and got stuck on the edge of a ten foot embankment. It was a total blizzard. I got out of the car and some one got out of their car running towards me asking if I was ok and said they were calling a wrecker. I was really confused not understanding the term wrecker. It is the Appalachia term for Tow Truck. Not wanting to pay the 50 bucks for a tow I waved down a large truck and asked him to pull me out. With out much hesitation he took out his tow strap and easily pulled me off the embankment. A police officer who was present gave me a panthlet inviting me to his church if I was ever around town again. He said everyone needs Jesus in their life. I asked the man who pulled me out for his contact info so I could send him a thank you card but he stopped half way through writing his address and said, “you know what, just do something nice for someone else some day.” I drove the rest of the way to Athens in great anxiety about slipping on the ice again. I made it home safely but in about three times as long as it normally would have.

On February 18 I drove from Athens to Columbus. The weather was great all day long. I stoppped into the Accra African market to buy plantains. palm nut cream and fufu for our African lunch later in the week. I then went to the temple for Darshan where I ended up doing kirtan and speaking for half an hour to a weekly meeting of new devotees about Bhagavad Gita and Lord Nityananda. When I left the temple at 7:30pm four inches of snow had covered everything and it was still snowing. Out of nowhere a blizard hit! I drove over to Mother Kamagiri’s home to see the family and have dinner. We talked for about two hours and I had to hit the road. It was horrible! Because the storm hit so late and unexpectedly the snow just packed down and turned to ice. There were no snow plows out. Literally every hundred feet there were cars off the road. We were driving about 20 miles per hour. I had another 70 miles to drive at night, after a huge gluten feast, and in a blizzard. The weather got worse and worse so I pulled over into a shopping center and read for about an hour hoping the storm would stop. It was about 11 pm so I decided to sleep some. I woke up to the sensation in my toes of frost bite. I got back on the road and drove the rest of the way home where i made it in bed by 1:30am.

Today I stayed at New V until all the festivities were over. After the huge paneer subji had entered my body I needed to rest for about two hours. Around 4:30 I packed up the car and jumped in. Chris and Devanada Pandit Prabhus were wishing me off when I started the car and removed the emergency break. It was then that we heard a huge SNAP!I tried to back up but the car would not move an inch. The rear wheels locked up. No mechanics were around so Devananda Pandit Prabhu and I jacked up the car to see what we could find out even though both of us knew nothing about cars. Chris Prabhu chanted next to us for spiritual support. We had to removed each wheel and then bang on the break drums to loosen the brake pads from the drum. We think that the freezing weather kept them locked. Maybe the emergency cable broke too. We now know that I need new break pads. So it worked and I got off to the road. I made it to Athens safely.

When I got to the house one of the high school boys who comes to our program was sleeping in the living room. I woke him up and asked him if everything was ok and if he needed a ride home. His mother called at that time to see if he was ok then we drove home. On our way to his house a deer jumped out on to the road. I was driving about 40 miles per hour. I cringed and slightly swerved. The deer smashed into the side of the car breaking the side view mirror. We stopped to look for the deer. We could not find it anywhere and there was no blood on the car. It was a very loud sound which instantly reminded me of a story a close friend was retelling a month back as he picked me up form the airport in Albany.

He was a bit reserved for some time when we were driving. After about an hour of talking he shared what was on his mind. He told me that just three hours previous he had remembered hitting and killing a woman when he was a teenager. He forgot about the whole incident that morning. After it had happened his father told him to forget all about it because he had taken care of everything. So he did that. He went on with his football playing and high school partying. He went through college, He worked for 20 years, had got married and had two kids. This day while sitting having breakfast with his father in law and wife, his father in law told him a recent headline. A woman took her two daughters out to a highway removed everyones clothes and walked out in front sick. He excused himself from breakfast table and went to another room where he laid on the floor in great pain. He felt like vomiting. He was bewildered why he felt so much pain. All the remembrances of his own experiences entered his memory after so many years. He was driving home one night when a woman jumped out onto the highway. He hit her and she flew into the windshield. He clearly remembers the striking sound of her bones crushing against the windshield. It was present again, the whole experience. The whole traumatizing experience which he was told to forget. That experience didn’t disappear it was hidden deep within and some how it was time to come out.

This is very fun.
February 21, 2008, 3:35 am
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Krsna Prema Prada Sri Gaura Hari.
February 18, 2008, 4:13 pm
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Lord Nityananda used to travel with me for three years or so. Now He and His brother Lord Chaitanya are residing in a little wooden box for various reasons. I miss them. Actually I miss everything about Krsna Consciousness. Oh Nitai! emana nirghrna more keba krpa kare, eka nityanada vinu jagat bhitare. Maybe I have a chance, if only I meant it.

it’s all love
February 9, 2008, 2:41 pm
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this is a unique expression of love. if you have 6 minutes watch it…

the one two knock out punch…..
February 5, 2008, 3:19 am
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Tonight I was punched multiple times during a well planned performance. I deserved each and every hit. Actually the words which were spoken were like sharp arrows or precise missiles intelligently aimed at specific targets to weaken or dis-empower. A list was made of each and every thing which I hold dear in my life and systematically attacked revealing my duplicity and endeavors to feed the demons within. I am not a person who uses curse words but with all honesty I think I understood the inner purports of the four letter word and could use it to its full potential. My mouth remained closed as per the instructions I received to simply listen for my own welfare and contemplate the subject matter for a few weeks before I react upon impulse and anger from the ego. Bravo Bravo! Well planned performance, voice and all! I was destroyed and confused. I am destroyed and confused. Bewildered by the tests which come at the most exact times. A doctor knows how to prescribe medicine for a patient and Krsna is the most expert. I bow at his ability to utilize others so dramatically in this divine play of purification. I am thankful that I am surrounded by many Vaisnavas who quickly brought me back to emotional balance with their embraces and gentle encouraging words. While hearing I remembered this poem,


People are unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered; Love them anyway,
If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; Do good anyway. The good you do will be forgotten tomorrow; Do good anyway. Honesty and frankness will make you vulnerable; Be honest and frank anyway. What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight; Build anyway. Give the world the best you have and you’ll get kicked in the teeth; Give the best you’ve got anyway.

On the walls of Shishu Bhavan,
Mother Teresa’s home in Calcutta

sunny days but stick in a terminal.
February 4, 2008, 1:53 pm
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This is Mother Rukmini and VBD gazing upon Sri Sri Gaura Nitai.

In Charlotte North Carolina now. Its wonderful to see sunny skys and distant horizons. I reminice of old times in Arizona. This time of the year is so wonderful out there. Maybe one day I can visit and spend some time out doors.

VBD, Krishangi and I stayed up til 1am talking as usual and woke up at 4 am to catch my morning flight out of Newark. Somehow we made it.

On the plane out of Newark I chanted a bit, slept some and listened to a lecture. I met up with my old friend Rikin at 2nd ave on Friday and he let me have about ten Bhutabhavan Prabhu lectures off his jump drive. Bhutabhavan Prabhu is an amazing speaker and sincere practitioner of Krsna Consciousness. On the plane ride I was listening and taking notes on his Lateral thinking seminar given in New York a few weeks ago. Im really connecting with his realizations about, and approach to, inspiring devotees to extend themselves to serve others. If you ever have a chance to hear him speak at anytime please take advantage of the opportunity. Better than that, invite him out to your area to ensure his association in your life.

Ill land in Columbus at lunch time and be picked up by Jason who just returned from a wonderful 1 month bicycle tour from San Francisco to Phoenix. We’ll do some shopping for Vegan Cooking Workshop, pick up some things I left in the city and then drive down to Athens. This week is going to be wonderful in Athens. Jason, Chase and Chaitanya will all be there! I am so fortunate to have such great association after so many weeks of being away.